Trust the Gene Genie

Monday, February 20, 2006

Blossoming of Orlando cannot act

It's fun with Babelfish day. If you haven't tried this wonderful Internet feature, you've missed out sorely.

Here's last Friday's post, my half-review of "Elizabethtown," translated through Babelfish into Greek and then back again -- once again through Babelfish -- into English. Let the hilarity ensue!

Thus, Becky and I reached finally around in the attention "Elizabethtown." It should you occupy, I am one from those types that consider that the Cameron Crowe cannot make no erroneous. Usually. And perhaps for ekej'no.ton the reason "Elizabethtown" it was almost impossible to be careful. It is a big history, with the classic situations Crowe, the dilemmas, the dilemmas and the dialogue. But I cannot think that a other cinema I have seen in the recent history that is this miscast apaj'sja. Simaj'nw horrifically miscast.

Me you allow I explain. I love "the Lord of rings." I am gentleman of all of three special extensive publication DVDs. I think that Legolas is big. But the blossoming of Orlando cannot act. I now stand for and I certify in the world that the blossoming of Orlando cannot act. And if there a thing that a cinema of Cameron Crowe needs so that it survives and it is even developed he is really good perpetrator of character -- La John Cusack and Jason Lee and Campbell Scott, etc (yes, the Tom Cruise is the obvious exception.) In the blossoming "Elizabethtown" that tripped on his lines, in costars, and did not present no one sygkjnitjki' expression for two hours. That of good feat in and. The films of Crowe so much completely character-lead that they are only so much successful as the perpetrators of films are believable. And the blossoming of Orlando is nothing but believable. A fast example? The scene where it presents his disappointment in the loss of exit 60B. It should I turn my head in the embarrassment.

C*Kirsten Dunst. Now, me you do not take erroneous. In in her her world I think a enough good actor. Thus I do not know ea'n fault of her Crowe or hers, but was also horrible in the cinema. Or perhaps it acted the part too much well. Perhaps the problem was this tried plays the peculiar, trello' girl that you see in each single romantic comedy that comes always out from the dawn of time. And that a problem because the films of Cameron Crowe are not romantic comedies. They are more as romantic dramadies. En pa'si perjptw'sej, with the output of Kirsten sate via most from the cinema that it waits for big I reveal that the character of Kirsten was really bipolar or psychologically disturbed and that the blossoming in order to it shows that him it loved genuinely him would help via her senility and him would take the help that needed and the spillikin with via thinks and slims -- a La "Benny and Joon." It is naturally reasonable. At least, according to handwritten. Her behavior in all the film that was stuck precisely outside as a shine type because the rest of cinema, him considers or no, was supported in something that resembles with the realism.

Thus there it is. It should him I go down my breast. The rest of litter was little very bitumen perfect. Two thinly Baldwin Alec was marvellously. The cinema deserves almost for drew scene of monuments of/birds "Free of dads". This was enough classic. But globally, the film concerns precisely villages the shoulders of blossoming and Dunst. It plays as a casuistic study in the poor cast. It was astonishingly bad.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Why, Cameron Crowe? Why?

So, Becky and I finally got around to watching "Elizabethtown." You must understand, I'm one of those types who believe Cameron Crowe can do no wrong. Mostly. And maybe for that reason "Elizabethtown" was nearly impossible to watch. It's a great story, with classic Crowe situations, quandaries, dilemmas and dialogue. But I can't think of another movie I've seen in recent history that has been this horribly miscast. I mean horrifically miscast.

Let me explain. I love "Lord of the Rings." I own all three special extended edition DVDs. I think Legolas is great. But Orlando Bloom cannot act. I stand here and now and proclaim to the world that Orlando Bloom cannot act. And if there's one thing a Cameron Crowe movie needs in order to survive and even thrive is a really good character actor -- a la John Cusack and Jason Lee and Campbell Scott, etc. (Yes, Tom Cruise is the obvious exception.) In "Elizabethtown" Bloom tripped over lines, bumbled into his costars, and showed no emotive expression for two hours. That's kind of a feat in and of itself. Crowe's films are so completely character-driven that they're only as successful as the films' actors are believable. And Orlando Bloom is anything but believable. A quick example? The scene where he shows his frustration at missing Exit 60B. I had to turn my head in embarrassment.

Kirsten Dunst. Now, don't get me wrong. Within her world I think she's a pretty good actress. So I don't know if its Crowe's fault or hers, but she was also terrible in the movie. Or maybe she acted her part too well. Maybe the problem was she tried to play the quirky, crazy girl you see in every single romantic comedy that's ever come out since the dawn of time. And that's a problem because Cameron Crowe films aren't romantic comedies. They're more like romantic dramadies. Anyway, with Kirsten's performance I sat through most of the movie waiting for the big reveal that Kirsten's character was actually bipolar or psychologically disturbed and that Bloom to show that he truly loved her would help her through her dementia and get her the help she needed and stick with her through think and thin -- a la "Benny and Joon." She of course is sane. At least, according to the script. Her behavior throughout the film just stuck out like a glaring typo because the rest of the movie, believe it or not, was grounded in a something resembling realism.

So there it is. I had to get it off my chest. The rest of the cast was pretty much pitch perfect. Alec Baldwin's two minutes were wonderful. The movie is almost worth seeing for the Drew's dad memorial/"Free Bird" scene. That was pretty classic. But overall, the film just falls apart on the shoulders of Bloom and Dunst. It plays like a case study in poor casting. It was surprisingly bad.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The dread pirate Thomas

I caught a little Q&A with Rob Thomas, the creator of "Veronica Mars," and he was talking about the music he uses in the show. At that point he was asked what his five favorite bands were:

"Hmmm. Wilco, the Clash, U2, the Replacements and Elvis Costello. Am I a 40-year-old white guy, or what?"

All of a sudden I know why I'm so pulled in by this show. Thomas is obviously operating on a bandwidth close to my own brain waves. It's like I've been validated.

In other news, if you'll look at the counter over on the righthand side of the page you'll notice that we're dangerously close to hitting the 1,000-page visit mark. You better believe we're planning something huge for that milestone. Maybe it'll be double the used minidiscs, maybe it'll be a swag bag full of all the stuff I can't sell on Either way, get your contest shoes ready. We're going dancing.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

We're at a place called Vertigo

Not bad. Not bad at all. Five Grammys last night plus three a year ago for "Bomb" to make 20 total over their 25-year career. You can't deny U2. You can try, but you can't deny 'em. They are so on their game they make everyone else look like raging amatuers.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

It's all about the ketchup

There is a potato chip of the month club. Where have I been that I missed that little kernal of glorious truth? In fact there are a handful of them. I can't tell you what this does to me, lover that I am of all things junk food. And like the U2 iPod before it, chip of the month clubs aren't cheap. In fact, the best of the bunch, Anchor's Chip of the Month Club, is $300 for a full year. But you get 6 different 4 oz. to 10 oz. bags of various local, speciality and gormet chips per box each month. It's almost worth it. I still can't believe no one in the country makes a ketchup-flavored chip. They're awesome. And Tim's Cascade, a big seller around here, makes a great dill pickle flavor. But for some reason if you're south of Oregon you can't find it. I could go on, but I won't. I know you're quietly thanking me.

Friday, February 03, 2006

No time like the present

There's not a lot going on. Mix that with the fact that sometimes I'm lazy and you get long stetches of no posts. But I'm going out on a limb here and saying my two readers don't care.

But let's not have that stop us. First and foremost, U2 are up for Album of the Year (among other awards) at the Grammys Wednesday. I've posted my thoughts long ago on their current album, "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" and so you probably know I'm hoping they'll win because I love U2 and not because I was especially blown away by "Atomic Bomb."

Here's a brief recap: Overall, I liked it and it sounds good, but there's something unfinished or unpolished about it -- like a B-side. Sometimes the arrangements sound improvised, sometimes the lyrics are kind of akward. Maybe I'm just not squaring with the change in tone. With their songs, what was once shrouded in mystery and metaphor is now just blatant and out there. For me, the stand-out songs are "Love and Peace or Else," "A Man and a Woman" and "Original of Species."

Anyway, to the fun stuff. Today it's the pogo pop edition of "The Perfect Song," seeing as how the Grammys are coming. You can check out the last installments here and here.

Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" -- The group is relatively new on the scene and "Take Me Out" illustrates what they do so well. The song is a short, bouncy ode to nightlife. It's got a killer, but killer, guitar hook that leaves you feeling happy. The song doesn't waste a note, a beat or a word. "I say you don't know/You say you don't go/I say take me out." It's good times from start to finish.

Midnight Oil's "The Dead Heart" -- Maybe not the first song that pops into your head when someone says pogo pop, but if this song doesn't have you moving by the time it wraps, you might need a defribulator. It's got an incredible beat, it takes heavy, socio-political themes and makes them something you can dance to and its chorus floats a perfect melody that's impossible not to hum to. "We carry in our hearts the true country/and that cannot be stolen/We follow in the steps of our ancestry/and that cannot be broken" It's a low key, killer song.

U2's "Big Girls Are Best" -- I know, I know. Yet another U2 song. But this one truly kicks arse. It's got this heavy, Adam-and-Larry-driven groove. It's chorus is "big girls are best" and the refrain repeats "sexy momma" over and over. The song just thumps and moves. It's a blast. And it's easy to listen to. You can't go wrong with a tune that proclaims "little girls are a pest/big girls are the best."

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