Trust the Gene Genie

Thursday, January 11, 2007

I hit people.

I'm trying to be better. And so I'm gonna blog for a bit right now.

Kids are crazy. Because they're kids, really. Claire, my six-year-old, is more intense than crazy. But Leigh, my four-yer-old is all crazy. In fact she has this crazy grin she flashes when she knows she's being crazy. And, as a writer, I should be able to describe it some way to give you a sense of what it is. But I can't. You know how it is. There's a certain way 4-year-olds act, a certain way you expect them to act and then a way they act that completely surprises you. Leigh is often doing things that catch you comlptely off guard.

Maybe when I have more than just few minutes on a blog, I can do it some justice. But, to try and illustrate here's a story.

When Elsa was first home from the hospital, she was still pretty small but still a ravenous eater. Becky would start nursing her and the milk flow would just ovrewhelm her so Becky would have to sit Elsa up and pat her back so she could catch her breath. Often she'd say, "Breathe, Pumpkin, breathe" as she'd do it. Leigh, who's always within a one-foot radius of Elsa when Elsa's awake was quick to catch on. So the next time Becky was feeding Elsa, Leigh was right there. And when Elsa started to choke on the milk, Leigh patted her back, but being a four-year-old, she doesn't quite have that command of the English language. So she came up with the closest approximation to Becky's gentle supplications as she could, and said, "Breathe, Mushroom, breathe." It still makes me chuckle.

Claire is a fisrt-grader and wants to understand everything right now. In fact, most of her day is spent arguing with me or Becky, trying to convince us she understands the world. You know for example, a couple weeks ago I argued with her at length about whether it was Thursday or Friday. It was of course Thursday, but she knew it was Friday.

Anyway, she recently got this little pink address book, with lines for name, phone number, address and e-mail. Underneath all of that is a line called "Dirty Little Secret." She read that with some confusion, not knowing how exactly that fits in with everything else or even what a dirty little secret is. So Becky tries to explain, not wanting to inadvertenly catapult Claire into her catty tween-hood, that a dirty little secret is just something bad you've done.

Well, a few days later, Claire is showing me her address book and having me check out all the names she's included. She even has herself listed. So I read through it and then notice she's got the "Dirty Little Secret" line filled in. I about died laughing. It read, "I hit people." Classic stuff.


Thom G. said...

That's just good stuff. Nothing beats real life. Nothing.

stephanie said...

Holy crap, that is funny. I died laughing at the Leigh story.

Anonymous said...

Those are awesome stories. Coulson is our Claire. We've had a few moments discussing something he's just sure he's right on (like your days of the week example) only to be crushed to find out that he's wrong.


Urpy said...

Claire does seem to take things a little more personal than Leigh. It will be interesting to see where Elsa falls. We seem to have the two extremes and not much else in between.

TheRobRogers said...

It must be an oldest child thing, Spence.

Popular Posts