Trust the Gene Genie

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

You're doomed

I'm really terrible at this. But it's good for both us. So, here's to more regular updates. I can do it. You know I can.
And I've got to give a shout to Philby and Ian. Glad you gentlemen have stumbled over here. And now on to the business at hand.

You know what's fun? The English language. And I'm not just saying that because I write for a living. In fact, I'm saying it in spite of that fact. Because English is most fun when it's misused. And no one misuses it better than four-, five- and six-year-olds.

A couple examples: Leigh, my endlessly comedic four-year-old, is the member of the family most eager to express herself. But, given the range and complexity of the emotions she must feel, she never quite seems to have the language skills to do it.

Like after dinner a few nights ago. Leigh ate seconds of most everything on the table but complained about the meal the whole time doing so. We stopped just short of forcing her to eat. Anyway, she left the table and went into the family room. I followed, still eating salad from the serving bowl.

She looked up at me and said something to the effect, "When I see you eating that, it makes me feel like I have to eat it, too." Of course it does.

Becky remided me of the best story. Both Claire and Leigh are useless when it comes to finding anything in the house. And when I say useless I mean completely inable to find anything at any time any where in the house. To this day we send them downstairs to put on their shoes and they call up from the doorway that they can't find them. We walk downstairs only to discover that the shoes are three, maybe four inches from where they're standing. In plain sight.

So, Becky and I have been known, from time to time, to use such phrases as "Open your eyes," "Use your eyes," "You have to use your freakin' eyes," "Freak! They're right here! Are you blind?" and other variations.

Well, some months ago Claire was searching for her shoes, getting frustrated that she couldn't find them and letting us all know that she was frustrated that she couldn't find them. Leigh, ever the dutiful and helpful younger sibling, turns to Claire and says, "Jeez Claire, you have to use your freaky eyes." Classic Leigh.

Claire, now a second grader, is learning how to be catty, jokey and sarcastic. Which can be a lot of fun as she tries to put these skills to use. Becky and I, of course, tease the girls a lot, saying outlandishly untrue things to which we get the response, "Is that for real?"

Claire is starting to pick up on that kind of humor and last week thought it would be funny to write these really mean insults in the window with these little Crayola window markers the girls have. Her first stab at irony.

But, she's only six and so she doesn't really know any really mean insults. So she came up with the three cruelest lines her little six-year-old brain could produce, perfectly acceptable to her:

1. I hate you.
2. You're mean.
3. You're doomed.

She thought she was hilarious. And I've got three new insults to use the next time I get really mad at someone.


urpy said...

If only everyone could hear an imitation of Leigh saying, "You have to use your freaky eyes." Or how she responds to everything as, "For reals, Daddy? For reals?" It would make the story complete. And I hope I don't make you angry any time soon. I'd hate to be doomed.

ThomG said...

We're all doomed. But you gotta love it. Art Linkletter made a fortune with "Kids Say the Darndest Things."

Amber Carter said...

"freaky eyes".... I love it. Kids can make the mundane parts of life so interesting sometimes. I noticed something about this post though. I was looking at the picture thinking, I've seen this picture before. Then when I scrolled down all the recent pictures you have posted of your girls is at the same wall. Interesting.

TheRobRogers said...

Yeah, it's our garage wall. Not the prettiest wall in the history of walls, but it's in a convienent location.

urpy said...

Rob makes fun of me for that background all the time. He calls it the "non-descript blue wall." The real problem here is we have little daylight in our townhouse so my pictures don't turn out well unless we go outside. It's a small price to pay for good pictures.

Coatney, Party of Four. Your table is ready. said...

OK, so I'm a friend of Steph's and I pulled a stalker move and came to your blog. AND now I'm posting a comment, a little creepy I know. AND I'm paranoid to write anything because I write with horrible grammer and I know that writing is your thing. Anyway, I love that she wrote you're doomed! That is so funny. I really want to be mad at someone soon so that I can say that. She's awesome.

katieshafer said...

You're doomed. I love it. It will have to be my newest catch phrase. I hope you don't mind my nosyishness. This is Katie Shafer, formally Katie Cruze of Christman Hopkinsdom. I am glad to have seen your blog. Tell Beck hello. She will always be in the runnings for my favorite Darrington.

Amber Carter said...

Haha, well I'm sure that you take pictures in other places as well, so subconsciously Rob chooses those pictures to post because he actually really likes the "non-descript blue wall". :)

Popular Posts