Trust the Gene Genie

Monday, June 09, 2008

Summer is better than Indiana Jones IV -- which was crap

It's the first real day of summer vacation here, so without any further ado, let's get my summer predictions out of the way. I hope you're sitting down 'cause it's going to be a good time.

Here's last year's results, where we learned some very special lessons. Here's this year's (we can only hope for better results).

1. Gas will hit $5.50 by Labor Day. It's sad that last year my crazy prediction was $4 a gallon sticker price.

2. "The Incredible Hulk" will be only slightly better than "The Hulk" and will tank at the box office. No one cares about M. Night Shyamalanananlanalanam and after "The Happening" hits, no one will continue to care about M. Night Shyamalanananlan8lanam.

3. Conversely, I will love "The Dark Knight," "Wall*E" will be as good as "Finding Nemo" and "Get Smart" will be just as mediocre as everyone's expecting.

4. I will loose 10 lbs. by the end of the summer. I started at 200 about two weeks ago and I'm already at about 196. I'm most happy about this because I was at 210 a little over a year ago. My secret? The flu. Really. At the end of last summer I dropped five pounds after puking my guts out for almost 24 hours. It was terrible. I'm pretty sure I can do it again.

5. I will do something awesome by the end of the summer. I don't know what it is yet, but when the time comes, the opportunity will present itself. Maybe I'll house-train David Bowie, maybe I'll contribute to Obama's campaign or maybe, just maybe, I'll finally take that leap off the roof and fly! Well, maybe I won't do that. I already have a torn rotator cuff.

So there it is. We'll check back in ocassionally as the summer wears on, see how we do. In the meantime, I don't want to leave you completely empty-handed. So here it is, your moment of Zen:


Stephanie B said...

Becky told me about your no-sugar thing. Sounds like its going well for you.

Last year I silently scoffed at your "gas prices will hit $4." This year I think that you might be right.

For the record, Trav was going to do a write-up about IJ IV to warn people, sorry he didn't get it out sooner and you wasted money.

Crazy Granny said...

I felt slightly less frustrated at the Indiana Jones then you, but not by much. I beginning to think that most movies are rotten these days.

Nik said...

The Rob lives! I think with Indy IV my key was lowered expectations, I couldn't believe seeing writers like the Empire writer saying this was their most anticipated movie in years. I've enjoyed all the Indy movies but only the first is a stone-cold flawless gem I think. I agree with the CGI on it though, particularly the whole silly swinging Shia monkey scenes. But dominatrix Cate made it all work for me. Which says something small and scary about my character I think.

I'm of two minds about Hulk, I have pretty much decided to spend the green (get it?) on a theater ticket though, it can't be as bad as Ang Lee's abomination.

Ronifer269 said...

So you're responsible for the $5 gas? Damn you.

Something cool before the end of the summer? While technically September you could always be cool and go to Austin City Limits.

Gunderstruck said...

House train David Bowie?

David Bowie lives with you? What the !!!!!

(BTW, I'm assuming David Bowie is your pet. Nice. I've been pondering the idea of naming my next dog "Bill Murray" and nobody seems to get into it much. But seriously. Bill Murray as your dog? It could be awesome.)

ThomG said...

Heck, man gas will be $5 a gallon in Cali before I take off for the Midwest.

Diana G said...

I have not seen any movies in the theaters for a long time rob because I'm waiting for a favorable review...I need something to watch. And when you say you will lose 10 lbs. does that mean we lose jethro? I'm saddened by that. I may have to have a funeral. And what could be cooler than going to your family reunion this summer. I submit that nothing could be cooler. Long Live Colorado!

Nik said...

Hulk Mark II definitely a lot better than Hulk Ang Lee, but I HATED HATED HATED Ang's version. Much more fun than I thought, no Iron Man but a good superhero smash-em-up flick. Sadly I don't think it will do wonderfully, adequate but in the end I think they were too soon after the last one to do this, they should've waited 8-10 years between movies to wash the failure stench of Ang's version out.

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